Not once in my 40 years on the planet has anyone come up to me and given me lemons. Come to think of it, no one gave me apples, or bananas, or oranges, or any other kind of fruit. In fact, most of my life has been gift free from strangers barring the occasional one finger salute or evil glare.
What is that supposed to mean anyway? Are lemons so bad to be receiving in the first place? I am sure many a sailor of old would have given their left peg for a lemon or two along the way. Lemons are not only pretty they smell terrific and with a little sweeter make a tasty beverage. Of course that is the second half of the phrase, “make lemonade” but I think the lemon is getting a bad rap in the first place.
Is it becuase they are bitter? Is the saying “when life is bitter, add sugar?” I guess that works, but life has never tasted like anything to me, let alone bitter.
I just don’t get it and yet I happily titled my post thusly.
Never mind, you get the idea, when things are not as planned, make the most of it.
My lemon is that I have been struggling with depression this Spring. It kind of crept up on me and before I knew it I was is a bad place emotionally. It has been so long since I have felt the grip of depression I forgot the warning signs. I am okay, no thoughts of hurting myself or others, just a general apathy for life and that familiar “who cares” attitude.
I am talking with the doctor on Friday to check my sleeping habits and see if that might be a contributing factor. I am certain I have some sort of apnea and it will be good to start down the road to recovery with that. I figure sleep is the most likely culprit since I have been doing a good job with diet and exercise for the last month and my emotions have not responded. There hasn’t been any additional stress or problems as of late which makes the symptoms a little troubling. I used to be able to explain the reasons for my depression but things in my personal and spiritual life have never been better. Not feeling happy with all the good in my life is certainly not normal. I should be the happiest dude on the planet when I consider all the love and good things in my life, but most days I struggle just to get out of bed.
I hate it.
Inspite of the funk I can find myself in I will be interviewing for a tech support job at a large local ISP on Monday. I made it through 3 rounds of screening and will only have to meet with the supervisors. I am planning on bringing donuts to the interview. Who can say no to a guy with donuts? The job is 5 days a week from 3-midnight and my plan is to work two jobs for a couple years to get ourselves ahead financially. I am looking forward to the day when I can report we are completely debt free with money in the bank.
Speaking of running to the bank, Julianne, Elizabeth, and myself are on week three of our 9 week couch to 5K running program. After a week rest to get my knees in shape, things have been going really good for all of us. I am surprisingly fit for a fat guy and it has been easy to do the runs so far. The girls have had more of a challenge but they are both doing very well. It is amazing how the body responds to work.
Work, that is the word for the day. When life gives you lemons, get a second job.