My sister is going through a detox and I guess we must be on the same schedule. This is my second “plumbing” detox, and this time around I opted for the $7.00 version from Target.
The first one I used was a product from Dr. Schulze’s for $60.00 plus $9.00 shipping. I have never crapped so expensively before. The amazing thing is, my crap smelled like 70 dollar crap, and of course it didn’t stink.
I am on day 4 of the 7 day roto rooter routine and I must say I feel great. To be fair, you can do a detox all on your own and pay nothing, but I like putting strange things down my pie hole. I have willingly pounded down high fructose corn syrup, MSG, partially and fully hydrogenated oils, refined flour, refined sugar, copious amounts of animal flesh, untold numbers of foods fried in God only knows what, nitrogens, sulfides, chlorine, bromine, phenylalanine, and the list goes on. So downing a glass of green stuff in the morning that tastes a little like orange juice and feels a lot like watered down cream of wheat for 7 days is the least I can do. The pills in the afternoon and evening are a piece of cake, well actually they are a piece of yak hair or something, but easy to deal with.
This system, unlike the $70.00 version, has an interesting side effect on me. I can actually feel my BOWELS churning. Incidentally, you must always raise your voice when saying BOWELS, it is a word that is best said really loud. Man, what a sweet word picture, “churning bowels”. Anyway, it is a strange sensation, not uncomfortable, but a little annoying. It feels like squirrels are chasing each other up my ascending colon, running across my transverse colon and making the loop back down the descending, and back up. They do this for a few minutes, settle down, and go at it again.
This churning happens for a little while before the big “pay off” if you know what I mean.
Poop, if you don’t.
After the business is over, all is quiet on the BOWEL front until the next round of powder and pills.
Pooping is one of those “questions” I have for God. I guess from an efficiency standpoint the whole eating stuff, breaking it down into essential elements and elimination is brilliant, but I have a problem with the mechanics of it, specifically the event of elimination. It just seems so, I duno, vulnerable.
Perhaps that is the plan. Take any person you hold in high regard, place them on a toilet making stinky, and all things are suddenly equal.
At the end of the day we all look the same from the perspective of the toilet.