It’s been 5 months today.
5 months since you went away on that day when distance and desire was paid by pain.
It’s been 5 months of thinking you everyday – some days all day – some days grace.
5 months of emotions held in check as seeping memories like morning mist take breath and pull away from work and play.
In morning light cast cross my face with memories still in this space I look for you.
When thoughts grasp my aching heart and have their way and push apart I let the pieces big and small slip past my hands and hit the ground and trust that 5 months more will prove.
That even though our talks are through and yet theres so much more I’d do I must allow my self to simply move.
Beyond the pain of what could be of all the things I know I need that can and only come from a Dad like you.
So I’ll hug my kids like you would do and tell the stories that we both knew and how 5 months has been without a you.
It starts with loss and has a middle and as most middles spent there just a little but in the end one thing will prove true.
The best of you lives in me too and the rest I will just work through and past these tears I know that you see too.
That no regrets is how to live and even though I have them yet 5 months will end with no regrets of you.