Blessing or Burden?

Before I begin this post, let me just say that this topic came up this weekend while I was at a 4th of July celebration.  This is not meant for anyone that reads me and I realize that is maybe all 2 of you, but nonetheless, if you think I may be talking about you, I’m not.

I was observing a young mother who came alone and happened to be sitting there when I heard her talking about her kids.  We’ll call her Cathy.  Cathy was complaining to her friend Dot because Dot didn’t bring Cathy’s kids with her when she came to the party.  And now she had to go all the way back home and get them herself.  It started me thinking about how we view children in this world of ours.

Back in bible times, it was pretty much considered a curse to be barren.  And if you had only a few children, you weren’t very fertile.  Women’s status depended on how many children they could produce.  Now I’m not saying that we go back to bible times, for heaven’s sake, but children were considered to be a blessing.  But I see so many people in this culture that think that children are a burden–something that needs to be “taken care of.”  I know that my mother and my mother-in-law got comments about how many children they had (5 and 6, respectively.)  Stupid things like, “Don’t you know where babies come from?”  or “You are having ANOTHER one?”  Both of these women loved their kids, they saw them as blessings from God and although I’m sure they had their days, didn’t consider them to be a burden.  I’m not advocating having 10 kids, but neither am I advocating having 1.  The thing I get hung up on is how we view children to be such a burden in our culture.  We give birth, stay home for as short as we possibly can and then give them to some daycare provider to substitute for us.  Then, once we have our life back, we complain about how the daycare has a whole week off and what the heck am I gonna do with my kids for a whole week?  Or summer vacation.  I’ve heard people say they dread summer because their kids will be home for two months and they have to farm them out to some camp or get rid of them.

Now, I understand that parents get frustrated with their children and stuff like that, and that isn’t what I’m talking about here.  Our culture totally undermines the family.  I know it is almost impossible nowdays to be a stay-at-home mom because I have had to work.  Not many people can make it on one income.  I realize what pressure there is to be successful and hate that we have to work in that, at the expense of our children, oftentimes.  I guess as I am writing this, it comes down to money.  We think that if we have money, it will make our family happy.  As long as I can send my kids to this camp, this theme park, or have them involved in at least 5 different activities, it will make them happy.  But that is so misguided.  Our family has had it both ways.  I used to teach 2nd grade in public school and got a pretty good income doing it–that combined with my husband’s income and it was pretty darn smooth.  We could afford to go to Busch Gardens, go on vacation, and we bought our kids some really nice Christmas gifts.  But that wasn’t what made them happy.  Sure, they thought they were happy, because that is what society tells us.

Now, I teach piano lessons at home.  My income is considerably lower and to spend money on tickets to some theme park would seem frivolous at this stage.  We really watch our expenses and yes, we do indulge in some entertainment from time to time, but not like we used to.  But I have found out that my kids don’t really care.  (That is when they aren’t comparing themselves to the kids next door.)  They would rather go with us to Target or spend time with us.  Just being a family.  We do a lot of things together–and I have two teenagers!  They aren’t embarrassed to be seen with us (usually!) and sometimes we just sit and talk instead of watching t.v.  Yes, sometimes I feel like I need to get away, and so I get away.  Sometimes they need to get away, but I don’t see them as a burden.

The other day, I had a lady at church look at my belly and say, “You are having ANOTHER one?”  Either she thought I had too many children, thought I was too old, or thought I was someone else.  I just smiled and said, “Yeah.  Isn’t that great?”  When did motherhood become such a terrible profession?  When did children become such a burden?

All I can say, is that if you think it might be nice to have a little baby to dress up, feed and play with, don’t have kids.  Children are so much more than dolls.  They have their own personalities and sometimes they aren’t very nice.  But to me, they are still a blessing.  I am so thankful for the two that I have and so thankful that I can have another one.