Last week was my bottom.
I realized it as I pulled the Poang from my office into my bedroom in a last ditch effort to tolerate CPAP. As I said goodnight to my wife I had a glimpse of my future and I did not like it.
I lasted about 20 minutes in the chair before my legs got numb and the absurdity of it all became too much.
The thing is, I have been sleeping better, far from perfect, but much better than the year before. Last years depression and overall despair has lifted and even though I know most nights are not great, they are better than they used to be.
I have lost about 15 pounds since the heart of winter when once again the scale read close to 300. Most of my friends find it hard to believe I actually get that heavy. They know I am overweight, joke me about it from time to time, but 300 is a huge number even for 6-2. It is embarrassing to be that heavy especially when you stand in front of a church crowd week in week out playing guitar.
I am happy to report that I am under 280 now according to my scale which is what I will be using until my 3 month checkup. My doctor wants to see me hit 240, but I am shooting for 220 as my personal goal and will see how things look and feel for me there. If I just maintain my caloric levels of 1790 per day, that is a 2 pound loss per week. At that rate I am looking at 7 months to reach my goal. Since I am adding the C25K program as well as biking to my diet, it will probably take less time than that. I tend to lose very rapidly anyway and once I get going 10 pounds a month should be easy which will bring me in right at 240 in 3 months.
I feel really good about this and the timing of it in my life. I have the tools I need, a “diet” I can live with, a fantastic running program, and 100% support from the home team. Now that Emily is a little older, I have the time and energy to devote to me. I didn’t want to miss a moment with her as a baby as I did with the other 2. I probably went a little overboard, but I knew this was probably the last time I would be experiencing this. I loved the late nights and early morning and sleeplessness. It took its toll on me, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
So it is time to get up and go. Consider this my accountability partner and promise to love myself into the person I want to be.
Time for bed, I have 2 miles to run and walk in the morning.